In ADVICE + THOUGHTS, FEATURED

I’ve always been intrigued by independent women. Maybe it’s because I was always such a ‘relationship girl’ or that I hadn’t completely come out of my shell yet, but I admired bold women who did things their own way. To me, it’s not your hair, your makeup, or your body type that define your beauty. The most attractive quality you can possess is a confident and independent attitude. I’ve always admired women like that because it’s exactly what I wanted to be. A girl who’s self sufficient and takes her happiness and success into her own hands.

Becoming an independent female is a process, not something that happens overnight. The most self reliant women are the one’s who have worked through fear, rejection, doubt, and other hard situations to get there. Most likely, they’ve been through things that knocked them down and brought them to the realization that the only person you can ever completely rely on is yourself.

I’m writing this because I’ve been that girl, the one who allows someone else to control their feelings. I’ve played the comparison game that digs you into the hole of ‘will I ever be good enough’ and I never want to be in that situation again. I’ve experienced a few reality checks that made me realize things don’t happen for you unless you make them happen. I still have a lot to work on, but this year I’m focusing on being more independent.  It’s something all women should strive for – whether they’re single, dating, or married. It’s empowering, rewarding, makes you a better friend, partner, and role model to others.

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18 admirable qualities of bold, confident, independent women…

1. If they want something done, they do it themselves.

2. They are teachable, open-minded, and understanding.

3. They maintain their own lives even while in a relationship.

4. They’re able to support and applaud other women without letting jealousy get in the way.

5. They avoid petty arguments and conflict.

6. They are assertive and have the ability to say no.

7. They thrive in the chaos of a busy schedule.

8. They ask for what they want.

9. They’re competitive and ambitious.

10. Their self worth is not dependent on anyone else’s opinion of them.

11. They don’t idolize other women. You can have role models but don’t be a fan girl.

12. They have an opinion and voice it when necessary.

13. They do things without the approval of others.

14. They take risks and aren’t afraid of failure.

15. They wear the bright pink lipstick just bc they like it.

16. They’re scrappy and creative when it comes to problem solving.

17. Every *why* is followed with a *why not*? (my  bracelet I wear every day has the words ‘why not?‘ engraved on the inside. Sometimes you need a reminder of what you’re capable of.)

18. They never play the ‘poor me’ card. I don’t have a lot of pet peeves, but this is one of them. Instead of dwelling on your problems and making excuses, find a way to make it happen.

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and in the wise words of Destiny’s Child..

All the women, who are independent
Throw your hands up at me

 

In what areas can you become more self sufficient, confident, and independent? Who’s your female role model and why? Comment below! xo liv

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Showing 32 comments
  • Sheena
    Reply

    Love this post my dear! 😘

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Thanks Sheena!! <3 <3

    • Cynthia
      Reply

      Wow with everything going on right now in my life, this is exactly what I needed. 🙌🏼💗 LOVE your post!

      • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
        Olivia Rink
        Reply

        THANK YOU for reading & commenting! My mom’s name is Cynthia 😉

    • Carrie
      Reply

      This was very inspiring and exactly what I am working on myself!

  • Rachel
    Reply

    Definitely one of the most inspiring posts I’ve read! Exactly what I needed to hear at this moment. Thank you!

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      That makes me so happy. Thanks for reading Rachel!

  • Sara
    Reply

    I really needed this!! Thankyou for the encouragement! 💖💖💖

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Thanks for reading Sara! <3

  • Sierra Perry
    Reply

    The whole US women’s national soccer team is so inspiring to me, the way they all stand up for what they believe in and strive to be their best!

  • Maegan Rios
    Reply

    Hi Olivia!
    I am just coming upon you, and I have to say I am in love with what you write, and how you wear it!

    I am 23 years old, working full time, and finishing up college. I am such an over thinker. When I picture my future, I worry I am not fulfilling it enough. I am afraid when school is finished, I won’t amount to anything but the same routine I have been doing everyday. Work , school, work, school… I don’t want to just be average. I want to go above, but I am just afraid I don’t know how.

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Hi Maegan! Thank you! Oh girl, believe me I’m a total over-thinker too. But that’s not really a bad thing. If you don’t want to be ‘average’ then all you have to do is decide what you want your future to look like – then put the work in to make it happen. It sounds cliche but honestly if you REALLY want to create a certain job/lifestyle you’re proud of, you have the power and the resources to do it. But it’s never easy. You got this girl!

  • Madison
    Reply

    love this!! Working on this process myself, so it’s great to see something so positive!!!

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Thanks for stopping by to read & for the comment Madison!

  • Sarah
    Reply

    This was SO empowering to read, thank you for this post!!

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Thanks for reading Sarah!!

  • Heather Patterson
    Reply

    This quality is something that I’ve always wanted to be, and most people think I even am. But, I would say I’m not many of those characteristics. I tend to compare myself to other people, and the good things that happen to them instead of me, among other things. Such a great reminder, thank you for sharing!

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      We all have so many things we can work on when it comes to being independent, but it’s definitely something you get better at as you get older. Thanks for leaving a comment heather 🙂

  • @mickassaf
    Reply

    I like this post but don’t like the fact you didn’t follow me back

  • Blaire Lankford
    Reply

    Olivia, this post is awesome & so relatable. I’ve definitely been working on being more independent myself and it’s so rewarding to step out of your comfort zone and do things solely based on your own opinion without worrying about the the approval of others. You are definitely someone I look up to for inspiration 😊

    P.S. I LOVE your blog & style

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Hi Blaire! Thank you so much for taking the time to read & leave a comment! I’m glad you could relate to this post & your sweet words made my day 🙂

  • Keri
    Reply

    Hey Olivia! I’ve loved following your successful journey from cheerleader to blogger! I can tell you are definitely practicing what you preach 🙌🏻 I was really happy for you when you hit 100k because you deserve it! I am learning to be more independent as a new mother and honestly just trying to get by most days 😂Motherhood is so rewarding though.
    Thanks for always being classy, and having content that’s interesting to read. It’s refreshing.

    • http://oliviarink.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/gravatar-olivia-rink.jpg
      Olivia Rink
      Reply

      Hi Keri!! Ahh that makes me happy that you’ve been following along since the good old days, haha. And you’re right – it really doesn’t matter what your current situation is – whether you’re a new mom or living the single life, we can all challenge ourselves to be a little more independent. Thank you so much for taking time to leave such a nice comment, that really means so much to me!

  • Janina
    Reply

    Love this!! <3
    XO Janina
    http://www.janinafran.com

  • Jeton
    Reply

    Thank you so much for writing this Olivia. I’m currently in a relationship and sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough. Definitely needed to read this.
    XO Jeton

  • Emily Rose
    Reply

    I have to say you are super inspiring Olivia! I love following your story and it’s so refreshing to see someone else that has such a positive outlook on life! The world needs more of that 🙂 You are such a boss babe! Keep up the hard work, I can’t wait to see what else you accomplish! XO

  • Evelyn G.
    Reply

    Hi there! I just came across your lovely blog through Instagram. I’m so happy to have found not only a petite blogger but also a fellow Chicagoan.

    This was such an inspirational and empowering post. Thank you for writing it! I’m a single working professional in her late twenties and it’s always nice to get read something so uplifting and positive.

    I think the toughest thing I have struggles with is to be assertive, having that ability to say no. It’s so tough when you want to please everyone but it’s impossible to do so and I need to remind myself that it’s ok to put yourself first sometimes.

    What a great idea to wear a bracelet engraved with ‘why not?’ inside it! Awesome way to remind yourself what you’re capable of. I may just steal that idea 😉

    I admire Angelina Jolie because she’s beautiful both inside and out, for being a globe-trotting humanitarian and for her big heart.

    Michelle Obama for being fierce and independent in her own right, but also in a wonderful marriage with a man who isn’t afraid to be with a strong woman.

    Thanks for writing this post! I look forward to reading more 🙂

  • Stephanie
    Reply

    I recently came across your blog via Brighton and I just love you both so much. This post is so refreshing and honest… and honestly not just this post, but your whole blog… you just gained a new loyal follower!

  • Katrin B
    Reply

    Thanks Olivia! Keeping this list of qualities in my phone notes to remind myself about it every day. Some little failures get on the way that I tend to forget the power of being a women. Love your idea of engraving! Have a happy Holiday weekend!

  • Christina
    Reply

    Hellooo Beautiful!

    These are my favorite posts of yours. Anything life related I find myself re reading those posts a few times a week. The way you relate to life, relationships, family etc..is litteraly the same as me! I have never felt so drawn to someones blog. I have always been an emotional person but also look for a deeper meaning in things, and feel life is more than just living. But always seem to find myself being stepped on for being “to nice” and always saying yes to things instead of like you said above “saying no when you dont want to”. I would love if you did a follow up blog on something just like this. Maybe like a ways to get there, or how to change your thinking to follow these statements you posted etc. I love you liv and have been following you since your first blog!

    xo

    Christina

  • Keri Elaine
    Reply

    Love this! I completely agree with you Liv and always love how honest you are with your readers! Being independent can only add to a woman’s life. I think it takes most women well into their thirties to get to this point and you are already ahead of the curve 🙂

    https://kerielaine.com
    Keri Elaine

  • Alyssa Moore
    Reply

    Thanks so much Liv! Such a great inspiring post. As I just turned 24 I really want to work on being independent in the places that I lack! xo Alyssa

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