Recently I had a pretty eye-opening conversation over dinner with one of my best guy friends..so I felt like writing about it. First of all.. men and women really are from two completely different planets. Our minds work so differently, so I appreciate having such close friends of the opposite sex (thanks to cheerleading) to somewhat help me understand the mentality of the male species. Sometimes things really don’t need to be as over-complicated as our female brains try to make make them.
I spent the past few weekends traveling with one of my best friends, Blake. We cheered together at Kentucky and he’s always been one of my biggest role models. He’s one of the most confident and contagious people you’ll ever meet. He’s taught me so much about the importance of being unapologetically yourself and having the ability to not. care. at. all. about other people’s opinions of your decisions as long as you’re happy and passionate about the path you choose to follow. I know this mentality has been a huge contributing factor to his success as a choreographer, athlete, and friend.
We ALL want to be understood. We’re pretty much wired to crave inclusion. But I think sometimes (especially as women) we forget that we’re not always responsible for other people’s comfort and understanding. And as much as our goal is to find that mutual understanding, we have to remind ourselves that it’s OK if something you’re doing doesn’t ‘make sense’ in someone else’s mind. It’s ok for people to not “get” you and there’s freedom in not caring about the approval or disapproval of others.
Our society is obsessed with how our life decisions look and seem from the outside looking in. We feel justified in our actions when people are on board with what we’re doing or trying to become. Blake has shown me how confidence and contentment in your own decisions is an extremely powerful step. And how it’s OK for people to not understand what you’re doing and you do not always have to have an explanation for your decisions. The second you feel the need to continue explaining yourself is when you start confusing yourself. True confidence happens when you let go of the need for justification or approval from anyone but yourself.
I love what I do. Most days it doesn’t really feel like a job and it definitely doesn’t have the security of your typical 9-5, but it’s different and every day is so exciting. I get the chance to wake up in the morning with the ability to create things and inspire girls looking for the same chance to create who they want to be and how to go after what they want. Lately I’ve been reminding myself that when people ask where I’m going ‘with the whole blogging thing’ that it’s ok to not have an answer yet! And just because I don’t know doesn’t mean I should start second or questioning my direction.
People will try and influence your actions and motives, but the best way to learn is by doing things on your own and going with your gut. You need to gain experience from having the freedom to go with what your heart tells you to do. Sometimes all it takes is a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer – no explanation needed. The sooner you learn to let go of the idea that you need other people’s approval, the happier and better off you’ll be.
Happy Sunday, hope you’re relaxing with the people you love! I’m so thankful for such a beautiful weekend with some of my best friends. Life is good!
Great article Liv!
Thanks for reading Jomo!!
where is your purple romper from?
I absolutely love this post Olivia! I feel as though this is tends to be a struggle we all go through and it’s so nice to hear encouraging words! Thanks so much for sharing!
xo, Caitlin
http://caitlincarol.com
This is just what I needed! I’m struggling with anxiety and a lot of it comes with trying to please everyone and getting worked up if I think I let them down. Thank you so much for this post!
This is a great article! You are an inspiration to a lot of girls, keep up the hard work!
Love this! I’ve been struggling recently with a problem related to this. So refreshing to read this.
I’m going through a hard time with self acceptance and not feeling pretty or confident this truly helped thank you!
This really spoke to me at a time I needed to hear it most. Thanks for your thoughts and contagious spirit. Xo
Thank you for the reminder <3 life in general, is a struggle sometimes, but we are the ones that choose how we live.
https://memoriesandmacchiatos.wordpress.com
This is a very well written article. It’s so true that we are too busy trying to please others and make them comfortable that we sometimes lose what is most important, our identity. You have a great friend and role model with some very good advice. The only ones we need to answer to are God and ourselves. You love what you do and are really good at it. That’s the most important thing is being happy and trusting yourself. Unfornately there are some that don’t understand the pathways we may take and question them. You are doing something you love and enjoy plus inspiring others along the way, very commendable. It took a brain tumor for me to wake up and start doing what I enjoy. People questioned me but I stop caring. I have this saying written in my planner and I do not know who it is from, it says, ” I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say because of you, I didn’t give up.” Keep doing what makes you happy because you inspire and wake the hearts of others.