Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been looking for the answers to why I’m here, where I’m going, and how I’m even aware of the idea that I’m anywhere at all. These questions have been on my heart for as long as I can remember.

We all have a desire to be a part of something greater than ourselves. Do you think that’s just a coincidence? Or is it a longing ingrained in us by the one who made our hearts and formed our minds?

I’ve always been stubborn and never one to blindly accept things without understanding them myself, which is why I couldn’t just accept other people’s answers to these questions. If you want the answers, you have to go straight to the source. There’s an entire answer key to life written in the book on your bedside table (or shoved under your bed), and the author of it all is waiting for you to open it up and ask Him for help.

As we get older, we learn new things every single day that prepare us for the next step. Our life experiences are preparing us for the next hard thing, the next year, and even the next decade. But in the grand scheme of things, our time here is really preparing us for eternity. Life is a growing process.

When I started reading and praying about the deep question on my heart of “why I’m here”, the process of eternal life in nature kept coming to my mind. The cycle of birth, growth, death, and rebirth is so evident in the world around us. We see this pattern in insects, plants, animals, in the changing of the seasons, and in the daily transition from day to night. God is giving us subtle hints about our destiny and purpose in everything He created. We are also being transformed. The sooner you realize you’re like a seed that’s been planted – and not just something that’s been buried – the more patiently you’ll be able to endure the uncomfortable process of growth and the more beautifully you’ll bloom once the time is right for you to have the courage to break through the surface.

We know we’re called to something greater than the insects and the plants around us because it’s been embedded in our DNA. We have a longing inside us that this world can’t satisfy. Some like to argue that there’s no way to truly find answers, but that’s a lie. Our Creator gave us very specific instructions on how to find meaning and true purpose, but you will only find them if you truly want to know.

My goal for this post is to awaken something inside you that’s been dormant. I’m hoping this inspires you to start seeking your own answers. The promise in this verse gave me the confidence to start searching, so I engraved it on the bracelet I wear everyday so I could always look at it whenever I feel lost or overwhelmed.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” [Matthew 7:7]

Viewing your life from an eternal perspective can bring a new kind of peace that will inspire you, comfort you, and give you purpose. Discovering the answers to these questions will open up your mind and future potential to more than you could have imagined. Have the courage to step beyond the safe borders of what you know. Our purpose runs a lot deeper than the quest for happiness and success in this life. Our purpose lies in the maturity of our souls that will someday carry on into eternity.

Weird fact about me and music:

I used to listen to a lot of the same artists during the beginning of college that really I loved. Then one year during school, I went through a sad period that really rocked me. It was a combination of a few things, but mainly a breakup, stress/pressure from nationals, and serious insomnia issues. For some reason, during this period in my life I stopped listening to the music I loved. Those songs would instantly bring back memories that were attached to this time in my life that I didn’t want to think about, so I just stopped listening altogether.

I’ve gone through a lot of phases like this over the years where I’ve stopped listening to certain songs because of the memories they were attached to. Isn’t it crazy how intensely music triggers the parts of our brain that evoke emotions? Emotions enhance the memory process and music evokes strong emotions, which is why music is such a big player in the formation of our memories. Collide by Howie Day reminds me of high school love and learning how to drive. Gravity by Sarah Barielles reminds me of rebuilding myself after a breakup. Ellie Goulding songs remind me of when I first moved to Chicago and went to her concert. And for some reason The Weeknd reminds me of falling in love with Conner (😂so romantic).

It’s funny how now that I’ve made peace with past situations that have put little scars on my heart, I’m able to listen to that music again without the negative emotions. Music will always bring back memories, but just because it reminds us of harder times doesn’t mean we have to push them away. We have to learn to embrace the memories because they’re a part of our unique story.

I’ve never been able to define my taste in music, but it’s a lot of the same female vocalists, acoustic versions, covers, and piano led songs. Songs that make you feel something and that have a melody that captures you within the first few seconds of the song. Lately I’ve been in a really good headspace where I’ve felt at peace with the things happening in my life which is what inspired this playlist. Sharing it with you with hopes that it eases your mind and gives you something pretty to listen to..

What songs trigger vivid memories for you? Is there a specific artist or album from the past that stirs powerful emotions in you that transport you back in time? Let me know tonight  on Instagram so I can respond 🙂

Thank you @CharlestBentley for bringing this post to life with your art! I love the imagination in your work.

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Personal growth is uncomfortable. It feels confusing and empty because that’s exactly what’s happening: you’re being emptied of your old ways to make room for the new. It’s an internal battle between the old self and new self 🤜🏼🤛🏼

To become the newer, better you, you have to un-become everything that’s holding you back. And that process can be really uncomfortable. The more I experience this familiar cycle, the better I get at embracing the discomfort.

I’ve learned honesty is the only way to really make an impact so here’s my honest struggle lately:

In this season of life I’ve lost some of the desire to document my real-time life and share new outfits. I say ‘some’ of the desire, because I still really love writing about my thoughts and experiences and sharing them with you. But – for my own sanity, I’ve really been working on living my life in the moment and being fully present, which doesn’t leave much time to record it for the internet to see. Fashion is still a passion of mine, but recently I’ve gained a new found wisdom that my purpose is connected deeper to something different than simply sharing a nice outfit. Don’t get me wrong, I still get excited when I find outfits that fit my petite frame and I will always love sharing those. But I’m also excited about entering into this new avenue of influencing and creating.

My work on here is deeply personal and I share parts of my life almost every day. I’ve found an incredible amount of purpose in sharing my stories with you and hearing how my work on here has helped you in some way. At first I was anxious when I started noticing my desires changing and when certain things I was so used to doing started to feel forced, repetitive, and invasive. I was having a hard time with it all until I realized the loss of certain desires could be the answer to my reoccurring prayers that are now finally leading me somewhere new.

You can imagine how losing these desires might feel a little scary considering it’s how I’ve built my business, but I know it’s just another uncomfortable wave of change rolling through that will make sense once my path is eventually redirected. I’m breaking the mold I’ve been operating in for so long in order to be lead somewhere new. 

The process of change isn’t easy, but that’s the point. It puts you through a fire that brings you out refined and better than before, not destroyed. I figured some of you might need to hear this so I wanted to talk about it because I was only able to put this into words after talking to a friend on the phone yesterday who’s been through the same thing herself. Talking to people I trust helps me dissect my own thoughts, so I’m hoping this can do the same for you in some way and provide some clarity in your current storm.

We all need to give ourselves the time and space it takes to let change happen in our lives. It might feel weird and lonely and confusing initially, but those feelings mean you’re changing, and that He’s coming in to takeover. Leaving you with my favorite CS Lewis quote that makes me tear up when I read it because it’s the perfect metaphor:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

— C.S. Lewis

If you have time tonight I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post in my IG post tonight, I’ll be reading through them all ❤️