First of all.. LOL about dating in the real world. There are no set rules, no one really knows what the heck they’re doing, online dating profiles are NOT real life, and not to mention your 20s are an incredibly strange period of time to be looking for love. We’re all still trying to figure ourselves out while figuring out how someone else fits into our lives.. and it gets confusing.
Dating in your 20s can actually be pretty fun and a great way to meet new people while exploring the city you live in. Take advantage of this time you have to actually be dating and finding out what you do and don’t like – this is a huge decision people! Our generation is so used to communicating and dating behind a screen that when we’re forced to interact in person, things get weird. So, if you’ve been single for a while and put dating on the back burner, or you’re newly single and ready to find Mr. Right, try a few things differently this time around and have some fun with it!
- Take initiative and introduce yourself if you see someone you’re interested in (yes, IN PUBLIC). Be forward! Boys, girls love this. Girls, this shows confidence which is so attractive to guys. There’s so much flakiness happening in the dating world now-a-days, so be direct – it won’t go unnoticed.
- Don’t Facebook stalk him back to 2005 before your first date. It’s ok to do a quick search to see what you’re working with and to make sure he’s not a serial killer, but try to let your first impression be the good old fashioned kind! True story: my roommate was leaving for a first date the other night so we all pulled him up on Facebook and his profile said he was ‘in a relationship’..HAHAH. We almost didn’t let her leave..turns out we had his last name spelled wrong..
- I’m sure there are people out there with Tinderella success stories, but can we all just put the dating apps down for one minute and attempt to meet someone organically? I don’t know about you but swiping my finger based on what my first impression of a guy’s Tinder profile looks like doesn’t seem like the most romantic (or informed) decision. I’m ok with picking my clothes out online.. not my life partner.
- In your twenties, it’s completely acceptable to ask pointed questions during the first few dates. Things are a little different at this age where your conversation doesn’t revolve around what frat he’s in and what internship you’re looking for. Compatibility questions like career path, future goals, etc. are all free game at this point – be direct about what you’re looking for in the beginning.
- You are older and wiser now, and much more aware of red flags. Save yourself some time and acknowledge a deal breaker when you see one early on in the dating process.
- Don’t start dating someone just to be dating someone. If you aren’t feeling it but he keeps asking you on dates, have the courage and enough respect for him/her to be honest. Be straight-forward with him in the beginning, he’ll appreciate you not leading him on.
- Trust your gut. Sometimes, you can’t explain why you’re in to someone. Or why you’re just NOT that into someone. A woman’s intuition is gold.
- Don’t base decisions about your love life on a timeline you created years ago that isn’t quite falling into place. Rushing into things or trying to force something that just isn’t meant to be will only end in disappointment further down the road. Things will happen when they’re supposed to happen – be patient and enjoy the ride.
- Being single is something you won’t appreciate until you aren’t single anymore.
- Focus on being genuinely interested in a person rather than trying to impress them. It’ll get you much farther in the long run.
This chapter of life definitely has it’s ups and downs, but in my opinion, this dating thing doesn’t have to be so bad! The goods dates are turn into relationships – and the bad ones turn into hilarious stories.
xoxox (Don’t forget to shop my Nordstrom Sale picks!)
Red Ribbed Body Suit // High-waisted Creped Pants (available in 2 other patterns, wearing size 2 H&M) // Black Stecy Heels // Beaded Multi-Strand Bracelet // Sephora ‘Valentine‘ Lipstick // Sed Bona Photography
Amen to all of this!! One of the best blog posts that I’ve read in a long time.
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Thank you for reading Annaliese <3!
This was great! I’m 34 now and married but I met my husband when I was 22 …before tinder and all that existed lol. Although then I didn’t think I was that young( I was) I had gone through 2 break-ups and was like over dating the same type guy I was just giving up altogether and then I met my husband we intended on taking things slow but fell in love fast and the rest is history. I feel sometimes when your not looking that things just happen!! You are an amazing girl and will find the love you deserve !
Thanks for the sweet comment Rach! Sounds like a wonderful love story, and yes you’re so right about things coming to you when you’re not looking for them 🙂 xo
Great post. Spot on. Well done and well written.