I’ve come to realize that the key to confidence can be summed up in a few words: fake it til you make it. Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in-between, sometimes what it really comes down to is which one you’ve made up in your mind to be.

I believe having an outgoing & confident personality can really benefit your life – especially when it comes to your career & personal relationships. In no way would I consider myself a super outgoing person (especially when I was younger) but over the last few years, I’ve pushed myself to come out of my shell by using the 5 tips I’ve written about below. Even if you’re the most UNsocial butterfly, it’s not a lost cause, there are so many ways to work on your interpersonal skills!

A few things that have worked for me:


Body language

Smile a lot, make eye contact, have approachable posture, walk with your shoulders back (feels stupid but I swear it makes a difference!).

Surrounding yourself with bold personalities

You become like the people you spend the most time with, so start taking tips from your most outgoing friends! I love hanging out with some of my most extra friends because they definitely tend to rub off on me.

Force yourself into uncomfortable situations

There’s really no way around it than to force yourself into the situations you’re the most afraid of. I actually really don’t like the idea of public speaking and if I could avoid it for the rest of my life I wouldn’t be mad. But, I’ve been forcing myself to do more video and get involved in public speaking opportunities because I’m always up for a challenge in areas of my life I feel could use some work!

Be Genuine!!!!!

Last, but MOST important. Be genuine. Show a genuine interest in others. Ask questions AND LISTEN. Bond on a shared experience. Connect and engage. The more you focus on this the less you’ll be thinking about yourself. Relating to other people is what gives me confidence in a situation – the whole “oh you too??” – moment is where I find comfort. Aim to connect, not to impress.

Like any skill, this is all about your mindset, practice, and pushing through the discomfort as you progress. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic – who else believes this is something that can be improved? Do you have any ‘success’ stories that have helped build your confidence? Comment below or in the Instagram comments in this post, I’d love to hear from you!!  🙂

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Showing 13 comments
  • Erika

    I recently had a conversation with family about this. I’m shy around people, especially around those with -as you said- BOLD personalities. Great tips and examples!

  • Kayla Rowling

    How to Win Friends and Influence People is a great classic read on this topic!

  • Katrina

    I love this post! Your tips are so spot on. I will be trying these out!

  • Courtney Shepherd

    I think it can definitely be improved!! I don’t consider myself outgoing but especially lately I really have the desire to change that! I tend to get intimidated really easily when it comes to being around other women my age.. my head is constantly trying to convince me that not good enough and that I don’t have anything to offer but I know it’s lies! lol I started to attend a local mom’s club with other moms of all ages and find myself in the exact situations that make me nervous and I want to leave but I’m forcing myself to do exactly what you said and be in conversations and listen, relate and respond and I honestly feel better and this week I was excited to go! It’s comforting to know that it’s normal to have to “fake it”! Thank you! Really enjoyed this!!

  • Bea

    Loving your style! You are so chic. Would you like to follow for follow on Bloglovin? 🙂


  • Megan

    Aim to connect, not impress- just changed my life and took so much pressure off just now. Now my new motto. Thanks for sharing quote 😊

  • Jen

    I love the advice and I especially love those feather earrings. What a statement piece!

  • Liz

    Great tips! This is actually my main goal for the year. I’m a strange combination of both introvert and extrovert, but I find that I feel the most uncomfortable when I feel intimidated in a group setting. It definitely takes practice 🙂 Will be using these tips!


  • Jessica

    Couldn’t agree with these tips more! Your feather earrings are so cute, too!

  • Leslie

    Love the article! Love the advice! I have lately pushed myself to become more positive/outgoing, started a fitness challenge with a group of girls (most I don’t know), eating healthier, learning about foods/my body, reading books, writing affirmations, etc. I have honestly started to see a huge difference in the way I present myself. Overall I know I’m becoming more positive and more outgoing. Baby steps!

  • Nila B

    I truly agree on all of the statements you have covered so gerenerously in this topic. Especially, the Be Genuine subject. I found its much easier to connect with people when you are not expecting anything from the other person and when you are confident with yourself, you can be genuine and happy for others and their success. Listening to the other person instead of being the big one sided talker is much more flattering on a persons traits. Also, people can pick up the fake vibes and to be honest, it really doesn’t look to well when we wear insincerity on our sleeves.

  • Rachel

    I enjoyed this so much!! Thank you for sharing, this is something I need to work on!

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