In ADVICE + THOUGHTS

Sometimes it’s refreshing to take a break from posting about material things and to take a day to write about the deeper stuff that’s been on my mind lately and publicly answer some re-occurring e-mail questions I get from you guys.

I’m also really bummed today because I had to drop Chris off at the airport last night, so sometimes it helps to talk about your problems out loud. Sooo here we are.. comments/feedback much appreciated and thanks for the therapy sesh in advance.

As you guys know, I’m in a long distance relationship – he’s in California and I’m here in Indiana. We spent the past 2 weeks together in Kentucky and Indiana and cherished every. single. minute. He’s my best friend and life is so much better when he’s around, but now I’m sitting here all depressed because it will be another 4 weeks til I see him again. Which brings me to my first thought:

1.”I’ll be happy when…”
I’m guilty of saying or at least thinking this phrase all the time. We all do it – we say that we will finally be complete/happy/satisfied once __________ happens, or once I’m making ______ amount of money a year, or once I’m no longer in a long distance relationship and life is normal and I can sit on the couch and eat pizza and watch The Office re-runs with my real-life-boyfriend (ugh). Looking forward to your goals, dreams, and expectations is such a great thing, but too much focus on the future can completely rob you of joy in the present. Just like anything else, focusing on finding peace in the now takes practice and constant self-reminders. (I previously wrote a whole lot more on this topic in this blog post). So, count your blessings, tell/show the people you love that you love them, and live in the moment, because it’s so much more important to pay attention to what’s happening right in front of us than to constantly focus on what’s ahead of us.

2. The more you serve someone, the more you love them. And the more you love someone, the more you want to serve them. It goes both ways. One very important thing Chris has taught me in our relationship is that love and service go hand in hand. We argue, plans fall through, I PMS and get mad at him for no reason,  he forgets something I’ve reminded him 400 times, we get snippy with each other because we’re hungry,  I get mad he can’t read my mind,  silent treatments, the list goes on and on people – no relationship is perfect.  A happy and healthy relationship (friendship or romantic) takes patience and effort, and one way to always feel more appreciative and in love with someone is to serve them in a selfless and Christ-like way.

3. Just a few quotes that make you think…

 

 

4. “How did you become so successful with what you’re doing and can you tell me the steps you took to get there”
I get some version of this e-mail all the time, and every time I read it I laugh. It goes to show that NO ONE has life figured out – including me – and every single day I’m still trying to figure out what I want to “be when I grow up”. I think sometimes people think there is this secret formula for success – the right major, the right connections – but what it really comes down to is hard work, taking risks, believing in yourself, and more hard work. You learn as you go and figure out the things you’re good at and take the opportunities your given. School, internships, and job experience have a little bit to do with what career you pursue in the future, but more importantly it comes down to thinking hard about what you’re passionate about and not limiting yourself to the career options you think you’re capable of. The people that are most successful in their field are the ones who are obsessed with what they’re doing. 

5.  Make time for people. As you get older, you realize how much you took the days for granted when you lived in the same dorm, sorority, or at least city with your bestfriends. The times you get to see each other become less frequent and less convenient. Now that I’ve been out of college for 2 years, some of the most memorable trips I’ve been on are the ones planned with old friends. Yes these take more planning, money, and commitment, but they’re so worth it! So stop saying ‘we should’ plan a trip and do it today! Call up your best friends and plan a vacation together to catch up – this is your ‘push’ to actually do it!

6. A devotional for today:

Are you eager for moments with the people you love, or are you too busy for it all – planning to appreciate it “later” when you have time? Time is short and we all need this constant reminder.
-from take my heart oh god by sara young

Hope you’re all having a great week so far, thanks for stopping by!

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Showing 38 comments
  • Allie Flora
    Reply

    Olivia,

    First of all, I have been following your blog for a while and it is so inspirational! You seem like a lovely person to be around!

    I have been dating my current boyfriend for six years, and four of those years were long distance. Long distance is so tough, but it can strengthen your relationship so much. I totally get what you are feeling, but you can get through it! We made it through and he proposed this past fall.

    I'm sending good vibes and positivity your way! You can do this, girl!

  • Melody
    Reply

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Melody
    Reply

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Melody
    Reply

    Ok I don't know what just happened there but my comment was up then it was down but lets try thia again haha

    Let go, let god! That always helps me to remember that there is something bigger than me that has this all figured out. You're exactly where you are suppose to be, and pain just means we're growing! xoxox
    Melody

  • Melody
    Reply

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Megan Crean
    Reply

    This is such a great post. My boyfriend of two years cheated and broke up with me in the Spring and my world fell apart. It took me about 4 months to pull myself back together enough to not be so depressed and finally be happy. My life changed a lot and all my friends notice how happy I am and how much I've changed. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Be lucky that you have someone that you love and loves you so much that missing them makes you feel so bad. The pain sucks, but the end is always so great. I hope you get through it!
    ~~Megan~~
    http://www.poshprime.com

  • Olivia Rink
    Reply

    Hi Allie!
    Thank you so much for the sweet comment – making it through 4 years of long distance is incredible – you two must be so in love! Thank you so much for following along with my blog and thanks for the encouragement <3

  • Olivia Rink
    Reply

    Thank you Melody! I always love that saying too – it's the best way to handle anything. Pain/hard things are only temporary, thanks for reading xo

  • Olivia Rink
    Reply

    I'm glad to hear you're doing so much better – love can suck sometimes but it can also be the greatest thing in the world! Thanks for always reading Megan, have a great night! xo

  • Lucy Roberson
    Reply

    Love your blog! Such an inspiration! Good luck to you and Chris! Y'all can do it 🙂
    Sending lots of love from Georgia! xoxo

  • Unknown
    Reply

    Olivia,

    First, I love your blog. My husband and I are huge UK fans and I love seeing all your cheerleading post on Instagram. I cheered at WKU and miss it so much.

    Long story short, my husband and I met in high school and started dating not long after he graduated. I was a sophomore. He was drafted by the Seattle Mariners right out of high school and was gone playing in Arizona for most of the year. It was so hard to have a relationship over the phone. And I was so young that I couldn't fly across the country to see him. Any time his family would visit him, I would tag along. I did this for six years until we got married. I would fly out, stay a little, fly home and be depressed. I totally understand what you are going through. I think you are both smart to pursue your careers and continue to grow your relationship. One day everything will fall into place and you will find yourself laying next to him saying, "remembers those times we never thought we would get here."

    Nate and I have been married 3 years now and we have a little girl named Lennon Marie (9months). Next year we will have been together for 10 years! Time flies when you're having fun. He is currently with the Cincinnati Reds and we are still living a crazy baseball life. Sometimes he's away for a few weeks but I truly believe absence makes the heart grow fonder.

    My advice to you is once you leave each other, start planning your next trip to see him or vise versa. Having something to look forward to always helps the time go by quicker.

    You are a strong woman! Hope you are together again soon.

    Best,
    Samantha

  • Melody
    Reply

    Yes thankfully they are temporary and I hope you two see eachother soon! The quotes/devotional are great too, by the way!

  • Melody
    Reply

    Yes thankfully they are temporary and I hope you two see eachother soon! The quotes/devotional are great too, by the way!

  • Cat
    Reply

    My boyfriend and I were long distance for almost two years. It sucks. But I moved up near him about a year and a half ago and we've been living together for about 4 months. We reminisce all the time about the time when we texted/called for every conversation. it honestly makes your relationship that much better. We get each other on a whole other level compared to a lot people our age and I know that time has something to do with it. The stupid fights and the constant sadness are worth it when you know it's right. I wish you guys luck! Its soooo worth it 🙂

  • Cat
    Reply

    Oh! Another thing that used to get me through the times apart were his t-shirts (preferably worn, lol – weird I know), but it really helps with the smell of him 🙂 also little letters/care packages – handwritten love notes are the best surprises!!

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