Single? Don't Panic. - Welcome to Olivia Rink

Posted April 14, 2016

Ever wonder why your married friends, your parents, and the older/wiser people in your life are constantly telling you to “enjoy this time” while you can? Ever want to slam your head against a wall if you hear that phrase one more time? Well, let me tell you, I’ve heard it so many times – and especially recently. And in some way I think it’s a warning from the people who might’ve wished this precious time away a little too fast.

The moody, negative, and dramatic side of me nods and agrees with these people, but in the back of my mind I’m thinking: Enjoy what? Heartbreak, awkward dating (uhg), career confusion, lack of direction, bills, no sense of purpose, quarter-life-crisis-ness, BEING ALONE FOREVER.. Can’t we just fast forward to the life where we live in a cute house with our cute kids, perfect husband, attend spin class, shop at trader joes, and are in bed by 10 PM every night? Obviously, we all have more goals than that.. but you know what I mean. Security. Purpose. Direction. It’s kind of how we girls are programmed. We want to build our nest, take care of our nest, and be cuddled and warm.. in our nest.

We all want the greener grass. We want to be living the lives we thought we’d be living by now. But it’s the greener grass mentality that messes us up. It takes away from the present moment and the opportunities and experiences that are happening right now, right in front of us. If you’re constantly focused on what you think you want and wish you had, you miss out.

One of my closest friends has been incredibly helpful in bringing me to this realization (hi rob). You need those people – the ones who help you see past your own problems and look on the brighter side of life, the side where things are never as bad as your mind tries to convince you that they are. The friends who tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. Being a single 20-something can be scary, and awkward and it can hit you pretty hard at times that you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, but it’s also a time for you to:

Really learn about who you are, the things you like, the things you hate.
Be selfish and worry about YOU – not kids, not a spouse, not a mortgage.
Have fun with your friends and work on friendships that will last a lifetime.
Travel, see new things, learn new things.
Focus on your career and be a boss a** b**** (sorry Nani)
Invest in the relationships outside of your boyfriend/husband.
Have an excuse for acting like an idiot because it’s “fun”.
Savor every minute you have with your parents at this age. Every. Minute.
Dress up and go out because you’re young, single, and in your priiiiime.
Start actually doing the hobbies you claim to love. Reading, writing, cooking, marathon-tv-show-watching.
Have extra cash – all to yourself.
Don’t worry about over analyzing every text message because if he ain’t the one, there’s plenty of others.
More girls trips.
Less settling.
Be in complete control of your happiness.
Try a new city!!
Meet new people.
Send constant screenshot convos that make you laugh out loud to yourself.
Ponder life with friends over coffee.
Have the freedom to make any decision you want for YOURSELF.
And flirting can be fun… right?

From what I’ve heard it’s all uphill from here – so we need to take advantage of being 20-something with no idea of where you’re going, because that’s the fun and exciting part in all of this. The sooner you realize that no one else can make you whole but yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to start living a more fulfilled life. And your soul will be way more prepared to meet the right mate when the time is right. Choose to be happy, choose to be stronger, and realize that no relationship, career, or other person is going to make you whole. And, in the wise words of my girl Carrie Bradshaw….